


Sometimes Minimum Wage Just Isn't Enough

by milliganopen



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Convenience Store Shenanigans, Dirk just wants to feed his slushie addiction, John is a tired underpaid cashier who is done with Dirk's shit, M/M, just a cheesy meet-cute I came up with
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-28
Updated: 2017-02-28
Packaged: 2018-09-27 10:07:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10005170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/milliganopen/pseuds/milliganopen
Summary: Alternatively Titled: Dirk Strider meets an obnoxious 7/11 employee and proceeds to get his mack on.





	

"Okay, dude, seriously! This is your third orange slushie in an hour and I really don't feel like mopping up neon puke again, so what's the deal?!"

Dirk raised a single carefully-plucked eyebrow at this surprisingly bold 7/11 employee, glancing at the name tag affixed to his uniform. "I'm sorry, 'John', I wasn't aware there was a rule against consuming three orange slushies in a legally obtained Big Gulp© refillable mug within the time span of an hour." The employee, apparently named John, scowled, glaring at Dirk with the unrivaled animosity of a fed-up retail worker. "Well, there is. It's called common sense!"

Dirk scoffed, taking a long, noisy sip of slushie and feeling his skin break out in goosebumps. John's frustration was palpable as Dirk broke off with an exaggerated sigh. "Unfortunately, I don't posses that capability." John crossed his arms over his tacky red and black uniform, rolling his eyes insolently. "I would never have guessed."

Dirk took another sip, tongue tingling from the artificial flavor, and looked the employee over a bit more closely. He wasn't bad looking, Dirk concluded, and would probably look better without the harsh convenience store lighting and eye bags. His glasses were square and undeniably dorky, but in addition to the way his front teeth tended to slip over his lower lip, they somehow made for an endearing combination.

"Look," John sighed, pushing up his glasses and pinching the bridge of his nose in exasperation, "you've been coming in here every night for the past week, and I'm getting sick of cleaning up regurgitated slushie, so would you cut it out?" Dirk considered the proposition, stroking his chin with a hand clad in a fingerless glove. "Hmm... it's a no from me. Sorry dude, better luck next time." John seemed like he was about to shout, but he just sighed instead, all the fight going out of him in an instant. "What ever," he mumbled, turning back around to head for the counter. "If you're gonna throw up again, do it outside."

Dirk watched him make his way over to the register, slumping against the linoleum dejectedly and closing his eyes. A surge of pity for the exhausted minimum-wage worker made Dirk's slushie taste sour, and he reached over to the rack of garishly advertised Tastycake® products beside him. Dropping the merchandise onto the counter with a thud, he watched as John jolted upright, startled. "Oh! Um, can I help you?" Dirk nodded to the snack cakes wrapped in plastic with a dry expression, drawling "Money can be exchanged for goods and services. And in this case, Krimpets®." John rolled his eyes again, a habit of his, Dirk assumed, and scanned them, snarking back, "Thanks for the economics lesson, professor. That'll be $3.50." Dirk fished around awkwardly in his pockets for a few seconds, garnering an amused look from the employee. He finally came up with a crumpled $5 bill, which John scrutinized intently. "Did someone draw a pointy hat and beard on Abraham Lincoln?"

Mentally cursing Roxy, Dirk tried to play it off as cool as he could. "It's a rebellion against our cruel, capitalistic society." John gave him a disbelieving stare, and he continued, too far gone to back down now. "Everyone's got to do their part, my comrade. The proletariat have nothing to lose but their chains," he declared, causing John to let out a little snort, one that made his eyes screw up and his glasses slip down. "Yeah, that's great and all, but... I'm not sure I can accept tampered currency." Dirk groaned, sinking into the counter with defeat. "You've gotta be kidding me." John smirked a little, giving the bill another once-over before placing it in the register. "But I guess I can make an exception just this once."

"Bastard," Dirk mumbled as he shoved his change into his pocket, only half meaning it. He picked up the Krimpets® and started to unwrap them. The crinkle of cellophane made his mouth water, and he wasn't the only one. John had been watching the clear plastic peel away with a hungry glint in his eye, and Dirk sighed. He broke the two cakes apart, holding one out towards the cashier resignedly. John blinked, pointing at himself in surprise. "For me?"

Dirk resisted the urge to smush the Krimpet® into his dumb, cute face and instead just said, "No, John, for the cash register. Why on earth would it be for you, the only other living, breathing human being in this 7/11." John took the cake, scowling at Dirk. Their fingers brushed just slightly, not that either one noticed whatsoever.

"No need to be so rude," John muttered, inhaling half of the Krimpet® in one bite. Through a mouthful of spongy, sugary goodness he mumbled, "You know, it's kind of weird when you call me by my name. You don't even know me." Dirk shot John a glare from behind his shades, taking a bite of his own cake. "You know, you could say thank you," he reminded John gruffly. John shrugged his shoulders noncommittally, finishing off the Krimpet®. "I could," he acknowledged finally.   
Dirk huffed, somewhere between a laugh and a scoff, and hopped up sideways onto the counter, planting his feet on the linoleum and twirling a Slim Jim® between his fingers. "That's unsanitary," John chimed in, conspicuously wiping his greasy hands on his pants. Dirk gave the pants in question an intense look, which made John fidget a little. "I know," he said, swinging his legs over to dangle them into John's workspace.

\---

John swallowed a little, and cursed the blood that was currently rushing to his face, making it feel hot and sweaty. He was painfully aware of the fact that the space between him and this bleached blonde, snarky, obnoxious customer had grown steadily less and less, and now they were probably at most a foot away from one another. He found himself itching to take a step back, but some stubborn little part of him wouldn't allow it. His mind, which had been mercifully dull a few minutes ago, was now working at full capacity.

Was this guy flirting with John? He had shared his Krimpet® with him, but then again John had been practically drooling, and the guy had been a total pain in the ass for the past week. Maybe he'd just been trying to make up for it. Although, he didn't seem like he was going to leave anytime soon, like your average late-night 7/11 patron would. Not to mention the fact he'd just been staring at John's crotch a few seconds earlier.

A new rush of heat made sweat break out on John's upper lip. He hoped the customer couldn't tell. Speaking of him, he'd started looking at John with a weird expression, and John realized he's been standing there in open-mouthed silence for far too long. He scrambled for something to say, eventually blurting out, "That's a lot of hair gel."

The customer gaped at him, and John fought the sudden urge to jump off the convenience store roof. While the customer's hair did look as stiff and sculpted as the anime figurines that John somehow suspected he owned, that probably was not something you should say to a person you've just met, John reasoned. To his infinite surprise, instead of demanding his immediate resignation, the customer snickered a little, bringing a hand up to poke at one of his pointy bangs. "Excellent observation." John laughed too, more out of relief than anything else, and definitely didn't let his gaze linger on the customer's pursed lips any longer than usual.

\---

This guy was definitely staring at his lips, Dirk concluded with a smug grin. Lowering his shades just an inch, he decided to test the waters even further, flashing John a sly wink. The cashier's face, which had already been the ruddy red of a tomato, flared up like a furnace, to Dirk's satisfaction. John was chewing on his lower lip not-so-subtly, and Dirk copied the motion, pressing both hands against the countertop to steady himself. The silence dragged on for a few moments, during which the sexual tension in the air grew so thick Dirk debated slicing through it with the katana sitting out in his car.

"Can I kiss you?" John finally managed to blurt out, freezing in place as soon as the words left his throat. Dirk blinked once before letting out a breathy chuckle, his fists clenching against the linoleum. "Can't you get fired for that?" John seemed to gain confidence from the lack of rejection, a tiny smile appearing as he shrugged the notion off. "Not unless my boss walked in right now." Dirk swallowed, raising one shaky hand to push his shades up on top of his head. "I think I'm willing to take that chance."

They both lunged forward at that, teeth clacking together noisily before their lips actually met. Dirk jumped a bit at the feeling of a hand pressing against the small of his back, but before long he leaned into it. John wasn't a great kisser, Dirk registered vaguely as he slid a hand up to clutch the cashier's uniformed shoulder. He was obviously inexperienced, bumping his mouth clumsily against Dirk's for a little while before he settled into a rhythm.

Dirk's hand was just reaching up to grip John's hair when a harsh voice rang out from the back of the store. "John, what the fuck are you doing?!" He was promptly shoved back roughly against the counter, glasses askew and chest heaving. John was so going to be fired for this, he reflected not so sadly.

\---

God damn was he going to be fired for this, John thought with a grin.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there!  
> This is my first time posting anything on here, so I hope it wasn't too bad! Commentary is appreciated, and comments and kudos make my little heart sing. Thanks for reading!


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